Dionysus, having spent the Equinox drinking like an immortal, was unpleasantly surprised to wake up the following morning with a mortal hangover, which kept him incommunicado for a couple of days in an abandoned warehouse in the Bronx. Upon recovering, he decided to head west again, bumming rides and seeing where he would wind up.

(In a related story, representatives for Seth MacFarlane and Richard Dawkins were "unable to comment" on the packages both men received in the mail on the day of the Equinox, though anonymous sources report that both packages contained a bottle of 18-year-old single-malt scotch and an eloquently worded sympathy note.)